a little moan

I have felt so tired today. I feel like a jug of  water that is just almost too full. I just want to be very still and very quiet, and not to be jostled in any way - because if I start to spill..! I just have so little to give anybody. 

Managed to do bedtime for children, and that was OK, but I have to remind myself that they are very small and can't be expected to understand. And I feel bad that they are having to understand stuff like this at all.

And I feel like I don't know what's going on, and that's very disconcerting. There is a plan and then it changes. It's horrible. They are going to re-mammogram me before the next treatment and decide on the basis of that, so it could be surgery sooner than I was expecting. S doesn't want me to have a scar. Neither do I, much.