Saw the surgeon on Wednesday - it will be a mastectomy, with lymph node clearance. It's what we were expecting, but I was still upset afterwards. I think I had parked it all, decided to concentrate on the chemo, and suddenly had to face it.
They gave me a leaflet on prostheses. Full of pictures of OLD WOMEN. Not very aspirational and nothing that I could identify with at all. "I can wear most things", but all the pictures showed necklines up at the neck. It really upset me. I cried that night and the next night.
I just got the Amoena catalogue, which is much better. Quite nice underwear. I will go into Marks next week and get myself measured up, and then do some shopping...but I am absolutely certain I will have a reconstruction next year.
I look at myself in the mirror and I can't imagine what it will look like.
1 F was kneeling in front of the telly waiting to turn it off, and his feet were under him. Dirty little feet because he's been running around outside with no shoes on. I always like to see them with dirty feet in the summer.
2 The radishes have gone mad and it's so nice to pick them. They pop out of the earth like shocking pink torpedoes.
3 Picked my first sweet peas today. Pink and purple. They smell delicious.